Give ear to my prayer, O God; do not hide yourself from my supplication.
Attend to me, and answer me; I am troubled in my complaint. I am distraught
by the noise of the enemy, because of the clamor of the wicked. For they bring trouble upon me, and in anger they cherish enmity against me.
My heart is in anguish within me, the terrors of death have fallen upon me.
Fear and trembling come upon me, and horror overwhelms me.
And I say, “O that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest;
truly, I would flee far away; I would lodge in the wilderness; Selah
I would hurry to find a shelter for myself from the raging wind and tempest.”
Confuse, O Lord, confound their speech; for I see violence and strife in the city.
Day and night they go around it on its walls, and iniquity and trouble are within it;
ruin is in its midst; oppression and fraud do not depart from its marketplace.
It is not enemies who taunt me— I could bear that; it is not adversaries who deal insolently with me— I could hide from them.
But it is you, my equal, my companion, my familiar friend,
with whom I kept pleasant company; we walked in the house of God with the throng.
Let death come upon them; let them go down alive to Sheol; for evil is in their homes and in their hearts.
But I call upon God, and the Lord will save me.
Evening and morning and at noon I utter my complaint and moan, and he will hear my voice.
He will redeem me unharmed from the battle that I wage, for many are arrayed against me.
God, who is enthroned from of old, Selah will hear, and will humble them— because they do not change, and do not fear God.
My companion laid hands on a friend and violated a covenant with me
with speech smoother than butter, but with a heart set on war; with words that were softer than oil, but in fact were drawn swords.
Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.
But you, O God, will cast them down into the lowest pit; the bloodthirsty and treacherous shall not live out half their days. But I will trust in you.
I feel like the writer of this Psalm is walking a tightrope – between the many concerns and fears he feels on the one side and hope & trust on the other. It feels like he could be pushed aside to one part or the other. It is another of the “already but not yet.” Being in that middle place of walking in faith in spite of and in the midst of trials. There is so much that goes into talking a tightrope – balance, focusing ahead, slow pace – that fit with what it means to follow Christ. It is not easy nor is it fast to be a disciple. It can be fraught with challenges but I know that I do not walk the tightrope alone.